Stronger Than My Fears

   For many years I defined healthy living as eating right, exercising, and maintaining a healthy weight.  I created and led programs to inspire adults and children to lead a healthier lifestyle. It was my passion. What I have found over the past 5+ years is that there is so much more to healthy living than the narrow definition I had accepted.
   During my crusade to make our communities a healthier place I was faced with my own life changing health challenges. In 2005 I lost vision in my left eye and started experiencing strange neurological symptoms like dizziness and tingling in my left leg. My vision eventually returned but I was diagnosed with Optic Neuritis which is a common symptom of Multiple Sclerosis. I visited many doctors and specialists but after a year and a half of tests and scans there was not enough evidence for a diagnosis. At that point I decided to just live with the symptoms and move on.
   In January of 2008 I was diagnosed with hormone positive breast cancer. Over the next year and a half I endured chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, radiation, and breast reconstruction. I was very excited to be finished and get back to a normal life.
   In February of 2014 I had a CT scan of my shoulder for a broken collar bone which showed something suspicious in my right lung. In April a PET scan and another CT scan found several small nodules in both lungs and I was told it was most likely metastatic cancer. I was devastated. To make a long story short, I was faced with a diagnosis and prognosis that were just not acceptable. Treatment of metastatic cancer (cancer that has spread to another area of the body) is a whole different ballgame with few if any good answers. I chose to find my own. After a short few months on endocrine therapy (medication to shut down estrogen)  I turned to some alternative therapies and spent 7 weeks at a wellness clinic in Florida the summer of 2014. Thankfully only one nodule was cancerous and was eventually removed. I currently have no evidence of cancer. 
   While I was at the clinic in Florida I realized something else. The symptoms I had been dealing with since 2005 had worsened, I was having difficulty walking, and there was a strong likelihood I had MS. It was several months before I finally sought out a neurologist who confirmed on an MRI there were lesions on my brain consistent with MS. Over the past 5 years the disease has continued to progress. Living with progressive chronic illness can be overwhelming. I take one day at a time, always grateful for the good days and always hopeful tomorrow will be better than today.