A New Era

Sometimes it takes inspiration for me to write. I don’t just like to write about my problems unless there is something meaningful behind the message. So today I’ll just write what I am feeling and hopefully you can find something worthy to take away.

I feel like I am entering a new era in life and really trying to avoid the why me? The truth is in many of life’s situations we do not know why they happen. None of us are being singled out. We all have to face adversity.

This year has been frustrating. MS is a complicated disease with a lot of potential problems. I also have to factor in my history of cancer and now early menopause. All of these make it harder to diagnose and treat an issue. And I just haven’t felt well much of the year. I have been battling re occurring bladder infections. Blah. Of course I tried to avoid anything that might be causing them and using some supplements that might help but nothing seemed to prevent them from coming back. I just finished a week of IV antibiotics to try and knock it out completely.

When I think of all my body has been through in the last 19 years I am amazed. Life has certainly tested my limits. I am used to just handling things. I don’t like having a plan that doesn’t have an end date. Oh I’m still trying to control my situation as much as I can, but this time the situation is calling the shots.

So hence a new era... Of course I still hold out hope there will be something that will help or reverse the effects of MS but today I just want to feel better. It would be impossible to try to explain how someone with MS feels completely. For me every hour can be different on some days. I just haven’t had very many good days this year. I don’t like not being productive. I’m tired of being tired. I don’t like relying on other people.

So that’s my pity party. I’m still waiting for this current issue to be resolved and hoping it will help. Truthfully I try not to overthink the future. I can’t predict an unpredictable disease. I just want to manage life the best I can. It’s hard to be happy when you feel bad but I am grateful for the good moments. I am thankful for good friends, a supportive family, and my scooter that allows me to get out and enjoy life. I have many blessings in my life and for that I am grateful.