Judgement

UDGMENT. We all do it. It is almost human nature to judge others. Some judgments are easy to make. An overweight person must eat too much, a person with lung cancer must have been a smoker, or a teenager dressed a certain way must be up to no good. Often times the judgment is accurate but sometimes it is not.

For many years I preached about healthy living, trying to encourage others to choose good behaviors. I know that I did help some people but I also know the people who were not listening to my advice often felt judged. It is not my place to judge and my intention was to inspire. Often we feel judged when we are embarrassed or ashamed by our own behaviors or inadequacies. That is probably the reason we feel most comfortable around people who are similar to us. An overweight person may feel intimidated at a gym. A young professional female may feel uncomfortable in a room full of older male colleagues.

What is your unhealthy behavior? Do you eat too many sweets? Do you drink more than you should? Do you spend too much time looking at your phone? Most of us have something we could be doing better. It is when the vice becomes a visible or tangible problem like obesity or alcoholism that we judge.

What is my point? Judging others is easy but sometimes misplaced. My journey through illness and healing has made me much more aware of judgment. That doesn’t mean I don’t still judge people, but I am more aware when I do. I have learned a lot about invisible illness which is incredibly easy to judge. Although mine is not invisible anymore, I do know what it's like to suffer from an illness that is hard to explain. Not all problems are cause and effect. No one knows more than me the frustration of not understanding the cause. The search for the cause in essence is the search for control.

Quoting the book After the Diagnosis: Transcending Chronic Illness by Julian Seifter,

“It’s an illusion to think that if we do the right thing we will be healthy, and if we are unhealthy it’s because we didn’t do the right thing.”

Does that mean you shouldn’t try to be healthy? Of course not, it means all circumstances are not the same. If something happens despite your best efforts you are not to blame or be judged for it.

Often when we take the time to get to know someone we have more empathy than what our first judgment leads us to believe. Haven’t you ever tried to do something and were not successful? Rise above the judgment and look for the good qualities in someone. When you can look past the surface you

become someone less easy to judge by others.