An empty bedroom

As this weekend approaches I contemplate the inevitable empty nest that will soon be our home. Another phase of life is almost complete. Raising kids is an ever changing experience. Just when you think you have it figured out the next phase begins.

I remember when the kids were infants and how often things were changing. Every stage presents its own challenges. When they are little you think it will be so much easier when they are a little older. Then you realize how hard it is when their schedule of events starts to take over and you’re the manager of chaos. And then they can drive. Sure you’re worried at first, and then you are relieved you don’t have to wait on them after practice every day, but eventually you’re missing the daily car rides when you actually had time for meaningful conversation.

And then they are sent off to become their own people. Well maybe yours hasn’t officially left the nest, but, regardless your necessity and influence becomes less and less.

So I reflect. No more good night hugs while he’s away. No more baseball games to watch. He’s a man of few words but he has a heart of gold and has always been my “little buddy” who helps his mama whenever she needs. The empty nest will be different for us and we are going to have to create a new version of everyday life. I certainly have enjoyed having both kids around this summer. Sigh.

It’s been a challenge these past few months getting him ready and trying to get him excited about college. Change doesn’t come easy for Mason. He’s the kid who clung to my leg and cried at preschool drop off. He’s the kid who never wanted to go to summer camp. And he has his first girlfriend, who will be back at home in Willis. I anticipate many weekend visits home for a while.

To all my friends with kids heading off to college don’t fret. Watching them become their own person as an adult is just another phase we get to sit back and enjoy. I’ve seen Megan blossom into a mature adult making the most of college life. You can relate to them on a different level and I’ve enjoyed our long talks about life and the world. All of the worries you have during all of the phases of childhood seem trivial. I am trying to remind myself of that as I worry about my youngest finding his place in college. It is the brief moment in life between total dependence on your parents and total responsibility of the real world and I want him to savor every precious moment.

I of all people know life doesn’t always follow a plan. There are great parents with kids who make bad choices. There are bad parents who have amazing kids. There are parents who face illness or, god forbid, the loss of a child. But as a parent it is comforting when the values you instilled and the lessons you bestowed on your children have had an impact. I see that in my own children, in my nieces, and in my friends’ children.

So for now, take the hugs when you can get them, look at some old photos or perhaps read the baby book again and remind yourself what a great person you have created. You’re job isn’t over its just changing. It’s time to let them spread their wings. Be available when they need to talk, have a warm bed when they come home, and remember a free meal goes a long way when you pop in to visit them.